A word of warning....beware?

RAISING BOYS:


a. For those with no children - this is totally hysterical! b. For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. c. For those who have children this age, this is not funny. d. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. e. For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.


the Facts:


1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house


4 inches deep.


2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.


3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.


4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.


5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.


6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.


7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.


8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.


9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a


36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.


10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a


4 year old boy.


11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.


12. Super glue is forever.


13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.


14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.


15. VCR's do not eject "PB %26amp; J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.


16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.


17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.


18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.


19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.


20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.


21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.


22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.


23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

A word of warning....beware?
hahahahahaha I want kids NOW!
Reply:very funny
Reply:i have a son and that reminds me of all the things i get to look forward to! you could not have mentioned this 16 months ago? j/k
Reply:COOL!!!!
Reply:So what is the question part?
Reply:Boys... yikes! You said it!!!!!!!!! You forgot the fastest and funniest (to him anyway) way to get rid of a big sisters is by bringing them live bugs!





(and yes I have for the first time found earthworms in the washer....and he brings his sisters LIVE bugs!
Reply:made me think of my youth very nostalgic .


you didnt mention blowing up poodles in the micro wave .


but i forgive you the rest was spot on,





and some stuff we missed out on
Reply:thats cute
Reply:sounds neat i have 2 boys tooo bad mine will just try to tow everyones car with a power wheels wreaker
Reply:Very funny! I have a 5 year old boy and a 3 year old girl. You need one for girls now. They can be worse! Thank you for making our house feel normal!
Reply:and stickers in ears will make you very sick
Reply:lol :)
Reply:I am so glad I have 2 girls.
Reply:That sounds EXACTLY like my friend's brother...and he's thirteen!





This is priceless, thanks, it sure gave me a laugh!
Reply:this isnt quite a question, but its a cute warning.
Reply:sounds like to me that you really need to start taking control of your child and not letting your child control your house hold. good luck to you. sounds like you may need it.
Reply:thats funny!



scooter