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Truths Learned From Kids





35 Truths Learned from Kids





From a San Diego father who has identified 35 truths he learned from his children:





1. There is no such thing as childproofing your house.





2. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.





3. A 4-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.





4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a Superman cape.





5. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20' room.





6. Baseballs make marks on ceilings.





7. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up several times before you get a hit.





8. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.





9. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.





10. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.





11. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh-oh", it is already too late.





12. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smokes--lots of it.





13. A 6 year-old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 60-year-old man says it can only be done in the movies.





14. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.





15. If you use a waterbed as a home plate while wearing baseball shoes, it does not leak. It explodes.





16. A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq ft house almost 4 inches deep.





17. Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old.





18. Duplos will not.





19. Play-Doh and microwave ovens should never be used in the same sentence.





20. Super Glue is forever.





21. MacGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.





22. So can Tarzan.





23. No matter how much Jell-O you put in the pool, you still can't walk on water.





24. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.





25. VCRs do not eject PB%26amp;J sandwiches, even though TV commercials show they do.





26. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.





27. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.





28. You probably don't want to know what that odor is.





29. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.





30. Plastic toys do not like ovens.





31. The fire department in San Diego has at least a 5-minute response.





32. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.





33. It will, however, make cats dizzy.





34. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.





35. A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life. (....unfortunately, mostly in retrospect). :-)

Want To Know What Kids Can Teach You???
This one is not mine, but I wanted to pass it on.





Why do we spend the first year or so of a child's life teaching them to walk and talk, then the next dozen or so telling them to sit down and shut up?





I have heard that new studies indicate insanity is hereditary... --we get it from our children.





And a lesson learned from one of my own: Did you know that a pair of tweezers looks like it will fit perfectly into an electrical wall outlet?





Actually, at my age, I have raised a lot of children...


In fact I am still raising one...





--He's 35 now.





Those of you who have tykes still in nappies (diapers), know the joys of children... Like when your boss or someone you wanted to impress is visiting and starts bouncing your tyke on his knee.


You suddenly realize that even though you just changed the child, they have already explored the best thing to do in a clean nappie...
Reply:I LOVED that!
Reply:Absolutely Freaking Brilliant! LOL!!!
Reply:lol nice!!!!!!!!!!!1
Reply:lol oh my god they are soooooo true!! quality stuff have a star from me!
Reply:36) spare the rod and spoil the child
Reply:very cute
Reply:nice and informative
Reply:BRILLIANT



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